10 Possible Reasons why your kid is stressed and what you can do to help
I think we can all agree that being a kid in 2021 is no joke. There are so many things young people have to navigate in the modern world, so it makes complete sense that some are feeling stressed and overwhelmed with everything life is throwing at them right now. For those of you who know that your son or daughter is stressed but are not sure why, either because they wont tell you or they don’t even know themselves, here are 10 possible reasons:
1. There is a lot of pressure on kids to have it all figured out, to have a plan for their future. Choosing GCSE options in year 8, figuring out what A Levels to study for a future career path in year 11, deciding what to do post-GCSEs. These are decisions that feel really big to young people as they are effect their future and the person they want to be when they ‘grow up’. But how can we expect them to make these decisions when they are not even sure who they are yet? When adolescence is all about discovering your identity and trying to accept who you are, it’s no wonder kids feel overwhelmed about making decisions that will affect their future when they are not even sure who they are now let alone 10 years from now.
2. Having a social life can be a cause of stress for young people. Dealing with the FOMO and comparison brought on my social media can make kids feel like they are being left out of all the fun. This causes them to question whether they are good enough, and whether they need to change parts of themselves in order to fit in. Being part of a group makes kids feel safe, so any perceived threat of rejection can be a significant cause of stress and worry.
3. Bullying. Urgh. It’s just so awful. Understandably so, it can make a young person feel incredibly anxious, stressed, and in some cases, traumatised.
4. More than ever young people are being bombarded with tests at school. From my experience with the clients I work with this seems to have intensified since returning to school after lockdown here in the UK. Naturally kids are stressed out about revision and their performance, even when teachers try to reassure them by telling them not to worry too much.
5. Following on from this, faster child development is also causing stress in young people. For so many, play is a thing of the past and life can get serious very quickly, especially when we consider how much more they need to navigate in our current climate.
6. Having a busy schedule can also be stress-inducing for kids. Here in the UK most clubs and after school activities have opened up again and kids are going from having very little to do to a full timetable and this can feel too much for some.
7. Family disruption can cause kids to worry because they know that things will change and feel different. Children can experience a whole range of emotions including loss, confusion and guilt.
8. Another trigger is parental stress. No matter how well we think we have protected them from it, kids will always notice that something feels off.
9. Not getting enough sleep can also affect young people’s stress levels. They often find it difficult to wind down at the end of a day and get in the 8-10 hours of quality sleep they need.
10. It’s a understatement to say that the world we live in right now is pretty broken. Some young people are deeply concerned about the issues many people face, and they worry about the news they hear reported on the TV, Radio and Social Media.
That’s a lot to be stressed about, right? As parents we want our kids to enjoy the freedom of their youth and not worry about these issues as we know they will have plenty of time for that when they are older! The reality is we cannot shield our kids from stress. Stress is an inevitable part of life. What we can do is give them some tools to be able to cope when life feels overwhelming. Here are my top 5 simple activities that you can share with your teen (they might work for you too!)
1. Control the controllables
Write a list of all the things you can control and all the things you cannot control. Focusing your energy on all the things you cannot control is futile. Paying attention and taking action on the things you can control will help you feel less overwhelmed because you learn to accept that whilst there are some things in life that you cannot change, you can still make an impact in other ways.
2. Move your body
You don’t have to go for a 5k run to get those endorphins flowing (although go for it if that’s your thing!). Putting on your favourite song and having a dance around the kitchen can be a really effective stress reliever.
3. Talk it out
As the saying goes, a problem shared is a problem halved. Whilst talking to someone might not solve half the effects of climate change on the planet, it might just help you feel seen and understood.
4. Write it out
Another great reliever of stress and worry is to write it all down in your journal. I am a big fan of a ‘brain dump’ which is just writing everything that is in your head. If it all feels very negative and bleak, try finishing off your writing session with a list of everything you are grateful for. It might just be the shift in perspective you need.
5. Always ask for help
It is always a good idea to seek out some support if things feel too much.