How to help your teen cultivate a positive self-image
Wouldn’t it be amazing to have a generation who don’t measure their self-worth, their happiness, their potential on a number on the scales? With our kids being bombarded with thousands of images a day, is this even possible?
I will be transparent and say that I am not always positive about my body. I am very lucky that it has never resulted in anything serious such as an eating disorder, but I have like so many other women and girls, hated on my body so often in my life and compared it to the images I saw in magazines. I still do sometimes.
Being a teenager in the ‘90s the images in the magazines I loved celebrated the ‘heroin chic’ look, a look my body was very far removed from, and despite mum having a pretty good self-image, I still didn’t feel that the way I looked was enough. My hair was too curly, my skin too pale and freckly, my legs too short.
As I have got older and had children of my own, I have become more aware of the impact that my self-image has on others around me. That does not mean to say that I am in a place where I am going to be posting photos of myself in my swimming costume-and I am pretty sure I never will (sidenote-you do not have to post images of yourself in your underwear to celebrate body positivity! Although I am always so grateful to those who do.).
It is safe to say that I am a work in progress. Sometimes I like my body, sometimes I wish it looked a bit ‘better’. I think most of us feel this way sometimes right? I know that it’s held me back from doing stuff and it has definitely made me feel crap and think I’m not good enough or worthy enough to do certain things. But I’ll be damned if I pass this BS on to my kids. No way.
If you are nodding along but not sure where to start cultivating a positive self-image in your kids, here are a list of ideas to get you thinking about how you can implement small changes at home that will make a HUGE impact on your son or daughter.
It starts with you
Consider how you talk about your own body. Think also about how you talk about other people’s bodies. If you think you need extra support with this then go and seek it out. It is so important to look after yourself and notice your self-talk when parenting teens. They are taking their cues from you all the time so taking care of yourself is NEVER selfish. Taking care of yourself is taking care of them also.
Get rid of the scales
They can send a powerful message that your weight determines your worth and this has the potential to be damaging for young people.
Get them media savvy
If they are not already aware how much editing and photoshopping goes into an image for a poster campaign then get to work on educating them. This article is great and it also shares the link to the incredibly powerful Dove ad ‘Evolution’. Of course this evolution now extends to filtering images on social media. This video is an excellent place to begin the conversation about how this process of editing faces and bodies has become so normalised, and that they should always question if images are ‘real’ before they start shaming themselves for not being good enough. Of course they are ALWAYS good enough exactly as they are.
Social media
Encourage them to follow accounts that celebrate body positivity : iweigh, bodybosypanda, chessieking, julesvonhep are some great ones to get them started.
Your language
Examine the language you use to talk about food. Do you use adjectives such as ‘good’ ‘bad’ and ‘naughty’? Let’s try and not demonise food. Let’s not give it a personality. Let’s not add guilt and shame to it.
Try and cook with your children
Include them in the meal planning and preparation process. Get them excited about making meals and sitting down together to eat them.
Exercise
Model why you are doing it-focusing on the enjoyment, the mental health, the social aspect, and because it makes you feel strong and energised. Exercise should never be a punishment. It should always be about celebrating movement and having fun!
We are all a marvel!
Talk about how incredible bodies are. They are a miracle and do so much for us. Show them how grateful you are for yours; it enabled you to produce this incredible human being!